The Results Are In

It has been a bit over a month since my day of failure. One I'm not to happy about; first, I didn't complete one of my challenges so it's like I failed them all. Second, I know I didn't train enough for this event in particular and I'm upset about that. Third I didn't even use the 25 hours I gave myself to complete it all very wisely.
25 hours is definitely enough time to finish 3 gallons of milk. 17 hours, however, is not. But Elhanan, why do you say that? Because my fat ass actually slept, rather P.T.F.O. after my FIRST event! It was a grueling one to say the least. Five minutes of sparring is already tiring. But try 5 - five minute rounds when you're fat and under trained. Did I mention I sparred with Hitman Sam aka Sammie the Jew aka Terminator aka The Robot aka The Israeli Monster Power House sent on a mission by God himself? He's a trained MMA enthusiast with a 10-0 record in his amateur record. I've never gone past three rounds with this guy, even at the peak of my training years ago with him. Some how, against all odds, I finished up five rounds. I did great for the 1st round in not getting submitted or tapping out. I think I did all right the in the second, as I held my own and felt strong. At least I thought. In the 3rd round Sam got me in a knee bar attempt which turned in to an ankle lock that I quickly tapped out on. The fourth round was bad. I believe I tapped out six or seven times if my memory serves me correctly. Two guillotines, three armbars, a rear-naked choke and some crazy leg/arm/hip choke alternative later I lay on the mats beaten and bruised. We set the rules as elbow grinding to the ears, and basically anything goes below the waist. As I lay there on my back, counting the sore and bruised ribs, I though to myself only a fat kid at Stop Eating Camp would quit here and now. It took me a 10 minute break to gain enough courage to go back in the ring/mats in the living room and get dished out another beating for 5 grueling minutes. It wasn't that bad actually. With about 47 seconds left to complete my 1st challenge, I got myself in to a standing armbar to my right arm that just screamed 'Hey! break me Sam, I'm lying right here!' I was so tired that my positioning on the mat, whether on my back or stomach, was absolutely horrible. My hips were high enough off the mat that it was as easy as cow tipping in Idaho. And that's too easy. I finished up the last ten seconds or so by just sitting there, trying to keep all limbs tucked in close to my body while Sam decided to see if he COULD actually break A rib in only 10 seconds. He failed BTW. Sorry Sam. It's going to take more than an Israeli-Jew Terminator sent back from the future to stop a Grunt. This is where the 8 hours of Fat Land came in to play.
I decided that it would be great to fall asleep for eight hours because that's what happens when you're fatter and in less desirable shape than you think. This was my downfall because those were crucial hours that I needed when it got down to the last minutes of my 25 hour challenge. I won't go in to too much boring crap so I'll say this; The 25 miles went down no problem. I ran 15 miles around downtown and SBCC and then biked my way back to Goleta. For every 30 minutes that passed I would walk a mile and then drink a bit less than a quart. I tried running after drinking but it wasn't hapening. If you're planning on drinking anything more than half a gallon of milk I hope you like the word 'constipation'. You'll be friends for at least two days. Pics of the event will soon come.